


Château Apliste Roseau

by NachoManRandyRavage



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The X-Files
Genre: Boys Kissing, Caretaking, Drunk Sex, Embarrassment, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Wetting, porn what porn/plot without porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NachoManRandyRavage/pseuds/NachoManRandyRavage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A routine visit to a foreign wizarding school turns mysterious.</p><p>Chronology is post-graduation Harry.</p><p>Chapter 1 is Plot without Porn<br/>Chapter 2 is Porn without Plot</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

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We're excited to welcome you to ...

... Château Apliste Roseau!

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Another one of these wizarding school tours. They were so tiresome! All the fawning and politicking. And the kids! Leprechauns-taint! These kids were insufferable. There was no way he was like that, was there? But doing these special tours was miles ahead of trying to make it into the high powered wizarding world. Leave that to Hermionie.

This time it was in some frozen wasteland named 'Alberta', 'Banff' to be exact. A little colonial town. It was pretty, and pretty provincial. Practically outpost a far as things went.

Harry dazed his way through the introduction ceremony, the talks about how he was instrumental in the defeat of "you-know-who". The only thing to do was to just smile through them all. Just have to maintain until he can get back to Ginney. 

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Your little wizard will get an education second to none at Apliste Roseau. With small class sizes and expert teachers, our friendly staff are experts in both wizarding and muggle studies, giving your little one a jump-start in todays rat-race world.

Talk to one of our wizard finance engineers and see how to get started today!

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Harry woke up, the phone rattling in his ear.

"Hello? Who is this?" he half mumbled.

"Harry, don't hang up. I have something I need to talk to you about. This place, it isn't what it seems!"

"Wait, what? Who are you?"

"Nevermind that, I need you to meet me at the Storm Cellar, you know where that is?"

"What downstairs? In the hotel, are you mad?" Harry was about to hang up.

"No! It's at Tunnel Mountain Road. Don't worry about bringing money, just dress for muggles alright? I've called you a cab it's already waiting outside."

The caller disconnected leaving the room in a cold silence. Mumbling a sleepy "Lumos" he turned on the light. Grabbing his glasses he slung on his pants and a shirt, and combed his hair over his scar. Being sure to stuff his wand in his overcoat pocket, he grabbed his keycard, and left the room. Chuckling to himself at the the thought of these provincial wizards quizically looking at these cards as keys. He nodded to the concierge at the front desk and walked outside.

Voldemort's Nipple was it COLD. How did they live in a place like this! He found the yello cab, and got in.

"The Storm Celler Please..."

"Yes, your friend was very nice. He told me to hand you this."

Harry grabbed the note from the mans outstreatched hand and opened it.

"Trust no one" it said.

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Our castle is connected to the great Château Lake Louise, with a series of Sussman Designed Non-Eucalidian passages to keep muggles at bay, while providing the students a world class facility at their disposal. Additionally, our quarterly wizards ball provides a whimsical party for the muggleborn, and a chance for your son or daughter to learn to interact with the muggles, broadening their horizons to give them an advantage in this ever changing world.

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Finally the cab stopped at a little rustic building. From the outside with the thick snowflakes it said serene, but when he stepped in? It was anything but. It was packed to the gills with muggles, all of them drinking, and a fair number of them in various states of undress.

"Hi!" Said this perky young girl, "you must be Harry!"

"Uhh ... yea?"

"Oh! You're British, I just LOVE your accent, it's so adorable! Anyway, your friend is right over here, follow me!"

And so he did, following through what seemed to be a vast sea of a cross between muggles and saytrs. Each one with a goatee. But it was their "dancing" that tipped him off. He didn't need to check their feet for cloven hooves. Only muggles danced like that.

Finally when they got to the back she twisted around the corner to a small booth away from the rukkus.

 

"Harry" The demure man smiled, his suit was a dark blue number, and he wore a conservative tie. But the smoldering look behind his eyes that had seen more than their fair share stopped Harry in this tracks.

Harry's heart jumped, here was the mystery voice. His heart stirred. He hadn't felt this way since that one time with Ron.... no! he must not think like this! What about Ginny?

"I am agent Mulder from the FBI. Nice to meet you"

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Old World Sensibility with New World Innovation.

harkening back to the Hogwarts of old, we have 4 houses and a sorting hat, but with that great western new world innovative flair you've come to expect from our great province!

Our four houses are:

Grey Bison- Old, Wise and Loyal. The bison is placid like a deep mountain lake.

Red Bobcat - Solitary, Trickster. This feline is sly and cunning!

Eager Beaver - Industrious, Technological and Crafty. Beavers are the true Albertan spirit!

Black Bear - Lonely and Slow but Loyal. Cross them and pay the price!

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"Have you ever noticed Harry that the houses seem to fit in the least: Hufflepuff, or at this side of the ocean, bear; are the ones that make the most waves?"

Harry just stood there blankly, he was shocked at this well dressed man sitting there. Sent did he fell like he was a kid again?

"Come on, sit down." the man said.

Turning to the waitress who led Harry here he said "Another budweiser for me, and a Village Blaksmith for my friend here."

"Don't worry, it won't be the worst you'll have here, but it's nothing like the Butterbeer from home."

"Who are you?" Harry said incredulously.

"I told you, Fox Mulder. I'm investigating the Château."

"You mean Lake Louise?"

"No Harry, lets cut the crap. I mean Apliste Roseau." Mulder said severely. he was like Snape, but firey, with more of a lust for life. 

"Look, my partner in't here because of a... disagreement. So I can't do the good-cop-bad-cop routine." Mulder looked deep into Harrys eyes.

"I want something else."


	2. The Fox and the Hare

Looking into the older man's eyes Harry felt the bar slowly fall away. The pounding of the music became a low din that smeared against the walls. They stared at each other. Not smiling but not frowning either. It wasn't a charm but it sure was magic.

Suddenly the waitress plopped the beers on the table. She gave Harry a wry smile as he shuffled uncomfortably and started to blush. How long had they been staring at one another?

"Look, it's alright, I know it's a lot to take in." Mulder said. 

Harry just blushed even deeper red. What was going on?

"Okay, look, this side of the pond is different. Okay? Nothing is quite what it seems. You think you had politics to deal with at home? Well guess what: it's harder here. Umbrage? She is a lightweight compared to the janitors."

Harry just continued to stare. How did he know so much?

"It's okay Harry, I know a lot of things. But I'm a friend." Mulder took a long pull of his drink.

"Let me tell you a little bit about myself, so we're on even footing..."

The stories were fantastical. Even more fantastical than his own experiences at hogwarts! At first he doubted their veracity, but as the beers kept flowing the tongues kept loosening. Soon they were telling stories back and forth about their experiences, like a friendly game of Tennis. Sometimes they would laugh uproariously, other times fists would be balled up and lips would be tight, and still other times there would be long pauses and far away looks. Each man, younger and older, sharing the emotional depth of their experiences, each beer lowering wall after wall.

"Look, Ahh, Mr. Mulder, I gotta to go take a slash."

"Call me Fox. And what do you mean 'a slash'?"

"You know, a piss!"

"Oh!" Mulder laughed.

Harry just nervously giggled a little and stumbled toward the restroom. The music was instantly a million times louder and he was pushed and jostled. The juxtaposition between 5 minutes ago and this nightmare made his head hurt. He finally made it. it was empty, thank goodness. He saddled up to the urinal, unzipped, closed his eyes and sighed.

Finally after what seemed like forever he opened them again he realized he was not alone.

"Hi" It was Mulder at the urinal beside him, smiling. This was breaking all the unwritten rules.

"Hi" Harry goofily smiled back.

They locked eyes. Suddenly the door opened and the party started to spill into their quiet moment. Harry spun around.

"Depulso EXPELIO!" He yelled, turning to blast a spell from his wand. The ski-bums who were about to interrupt everything quickly forgot what they saw and shut the door without a word. Unfortunately Harry's holly wand wasn't the only one discharging! Urine spattered against the wall, floor and his clothes.

"Oh shiii..." he started to slur.

"Look at you, you're a mess!" Mulder said. Mulder softly guided the young man, and pointed him back at the urinal. His strong hand firmly gripping his round ass.

"I ... uhh..."

"Shhhhhh.." Mulder softly whispered into his ear. "I have a room upstairs. Let's go get you cleaned up."

Mulder gripped Harry's cock and gave it a tender shake and squeeze. Harry blushed again, and gingerly reciprocated. Mulder smiled and pulled up Harry's stained pants, and then his own before quickly hustling him out of the restroom, and down a back hallway, up some stairs, and into a tiny bedroom.

Mulder dragged him to the bathroom of the small suite and quickly stripped off Harry's wet pants, throwing them with a 'slop' into the shower. Harry was just dumbfounded and blushing the whole time.

"I .. don't know... uhh..."

"It's okay." Mulder said, and he softly kissed the young mans lips. When Harry eagerly reciprocated, Mulder lightly bit his lips. Mulder reached around and started to caress Harry's round ass, softly stroking downwards and raking his nails up, causing Harry to let out little gasps.

Harry started to slowly grind against Mulder. Mulder gripped Harry's thighs tightly, before pulling them up, lifting him off the ground. Harry let out a little squeal as he wrapped his arms around Mundlers back. Mulder just smiled and kissed him again. He easily carried the young man to the bed, before plopping him down on it.

Harry eyes were crotch level, he shyly smiled started to unbuckle Mulders belt.

"I know it's a lot to take in." Mulder said...


End file.
